Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Maybe I'm a little too outspoken..

Maybe I'm a little too outspoken.

Believe it or not, but I've actually toned it down a lot since I was 18ish years old. Back then I had that only-child syndrome that just forced me into knowing that I was always right because I never had siblings who disagreed with me, so I never had to experience being wrong around groups of my peers. I still think that at 25 I might be a little too out-spoken. I occasionally say things without regard to how some people may react. I often think that my opinion on topics that I really have little knowledge about is important and should be shared with people.

I told my roommate his shoes are ugly, I told my friend his car might be fast, but it's hideous, I point out things I feel are inconsistent with a religion nearly all of my friends follow, I tell girls when they do things that I feel are stupid. Who exactly makes me boss of what an attractive car or sensible pair of shoes are though? I may know a bit about religion and dating, but since those are completely subjective topics, do my thoughts on the matter really mean anything to you? No.

I could probably write an entire blog on any of those subjects and have on the latter two, but to what point? Why would anyone care to see my reasoning behind why Saucony is better than Nike or why Hyundai makes a better car than GM when in all likelihood people won't agree with me? Yet.. they do.. I actually get quite a fair bit of traffic on my blog despite how many people I've likely offended. It's almost as if some people read this hoping I'll say something to piss them off, so they can argue with me or find reason to stop following me or remove me as a friend on facebook. The three most viewed blog posts I made are the ones where I rip on the hypocritical social scene at Utah State, where I make fun of how taboo people here treat the topic of sex and when I actually argued that the gays were being fags over being offended at the LDS church's remarks during conference. These are definitely somewhat blunt force blows at a lot of people I know, yet they get the most views. A blog entry like this, where I'm being nice, I'll be lucky to get 50 hits on it :P.

I'm not making this up - but just about every time I post a semi-controversial blog entry on facebook I lose anywhere between 2-5 facebook "friends" within the next 24-48 hours. Wow. Cool.

One thing that I like about this is that at least I know people who actually put up with me and keep me around as a friend are good open-minded people. Why would I want to surround myself with anything less? They recognize that if I disagree with them I'll probably say so, but they are accepting of that. Likewise I am accepting of the things I happen to disagree with you on as well. Maybe I don't always say it, but I really am. If you hate alternative rock, that's fine - it's not for everyone. I don't want anyone changing their mind to think the same as I do. If everyone thought the same it would be like living in Logan, Utah. Nevermind, you should agree with me on everything I say.

Why exactly do I bother writing these then? Well I don't know. Enjoyment I guess? Not so much for the reaction. I just happen to really enjoy writing. Not writing stories or papers, that's no fun, but writing my thoughts in a public forum is an enjoyable way to pass time at 4:15 am. I mean c'mon - when I wake up sick as hell at 2am and I've exhausted my interest in Sportscenter, it's either this or Fallout. I'm bored of Fallout. Plus I really do enjoy when I make an exciting entry like my entry on sex and people I know thank me for my thoughtless rant of just whatever came to mind. It's nice to know my thoughts are, at least on occasion, appreciated.

I guess maybe when it comes down to it, I'm really not any different than that punk ass 18 year old that you probably wanted to punch in the face seven years ago, but the edges are a little more dull. I do usually try to consider the feelings of specific people I could offend and refrain from it and I like to pretend that my thoughts are more refined. If I offend you, I'm not sorry for offending you - however I do feel a sense of remorse that you got offended. I promise that I don't intentionally set off writing thinking, "who can I piss off today?" with the exception of maybe when my neighbor assaulted me earlier this school year because of my annoying vocal motorcycle sounds, haha, psycho.. but I digress.. I really just want to write. I guess sometimes I am too open when I write or argue or have a conversation with someone, but that's me and that's why you like me, isn't it? Or maybe it's because you enjoy how tan you look standing next to me. I suppose either way works. Maybe it's because I'm high off Nyquil, but thanks for being my friend, even if I can be a pain in the ass to put up with sometimes.

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