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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

2010 Summary

Well every year since probably 2005 I've written a summary of my events of the prior year and my reflections on them now, so here goes :

January - January started interestingly enough. I was at a new years party with my high school friends and a girl I'd met about a week before had decided we were in a relationship already. She seemed interesting enough to get to know, so I reluctantly went along with the decision. We kissed at midnight and then played a board games until my married friends went home (about 12:20 am, they're total party animals...) I had new roommates this semester and they were both kind of strange at first, but they came around and I actually consider them good friends now. As the month progressed I started a set of some difficult classes including Structural Geology and Applied Geophysics. They really tested my abilities as a student. For my birthday Katie came to visit me and we went to a basketball game. The next night Trisha took me to dinner. Later, yada yada yada, we woke up it was February.

February - I broke up with Trisha since I wanted to date all the other womens who were paying me attention at the time. This was probably not a good idea and I did a lot of dating around of people that I didn't particularly like and also dated my friend Katie. I went snowboarding with Matt. It was my second time going, but the first time I really fell in love with the sport, now if only I had a thousand dollars or so do drop on gear... Oh well... maybe one of these years. Nate slipped on some ice and fell into the door which sent James and I into an uproar of laughter. I dated Katie for part of this month and the next. I also spent some time with this girl Kendra who was incredibly cool and attractive when we first start hanging out, but as time wore on these traits became less, but I still like her as a person. She's just on a mission, so it's hard to hang out.

March - I spent most of this month watching college basketball. This is what March was actually made for. It's a little known verse in Genesis that didn't make the final edit, "and on the 5th Day God created March that we may all watch far too much college basketball." I wore my Scotland shirt on St. Patricks day, which is strange since, as far as I know, I'm 1/4 Irish and 1/4 Scottish. The discovery of "Laddergoat" was made. My tournament bracket ended up being in the 97th percentile on Yahoo, which I'm quite proud of. For Spring Break I basically caught up on homework.

April - For April Fools day, Katie and I pretended to be engaged. A few of her family and friends bought it, but not a single person who knows me did. I guess I'm just that predictable. I went on the Historical Geology field trip to Arches National Park and various other geologic points of interest throughout central and southern Utah. It was the first school field trip I'd been on since probably 10th grade and it was a blast. In April I joined a co-ed ultimate frisbee intermural team with some people from the geology department, mainly people I met on the trip. This was a really good decision as I made some pretty good friends with a couple of the people on the team. I'm proud to say I was a pretty integral part of the team and it reminded me of the fun I had playing high school intermural sports. There was a massive (largest in Utah in over 15 years) earthquake in Rich County (by Logan) measuring in at an astounding 4.9. Okay, honestly it was pretty weak. Ironically, as a geology major, I was one of few people in Logan who was completely oblivious to it. I was irked. I also began training for a job being a census stalker.

May - The month started with snow on finals week, I wish I could say this was the last time it snowed this year, but it wasn't. I got my grades the first week of the month and I was quite pleased. I went from the prior spring semester, getting the worst GPA of my life, to getting the best GPA of my life taking just as hard of classes. I guess it really shows how much of a difference having interest in the subject makes. I began working for the census and actually ended up enjoying it quite a lot. I got to meet and talk to a lot of unique people and make my own hours. I hung out with Katie a lot this month. We went to the zoo and saw white crocodiles.

June - During June I continued working at the census for most of the month and dated a few different people. I didn't particularly hit it off with any of them, unfortunately. Towards the end of the month Trisha and I began seeing each other again and I started a second job waiting tables at this pizza place called NYPD. It was a really fun job. The people there were much younger and more laid back than at other restaurants I had worked at. I tried watching soccer for the World Cup and came to the same realization I come to every time I watch soccer. Soccer is boring. <-- period.

July - At some point in July I went to the museum of Natural History at the U of U, the Sandy Aquarium, Raging Waters and to a Buzz game. All things I'd been meaning to do for a while, but actually having a job made me able to do it! The census job ended and I began working more hours at the pizza place until a geologist I'd been in contact with called me and asked if I wanted to go do some field work with him. The pay he offered was great and I wanted experience so I went for it. The job blew so much ass that I wanted to cry myself to sleep some nights, but I was too tired whenever I'd get back from the mountains so I'd just go into my tent and pass out for 12 hours. I kept with it though and made some good money. My cousins ex husband, who I really looked up to when I was in elementary school, moved back to Utah and it was really fun catching up with him. We'd have get-together's at my cousin's house and it was cool, like old times, except we're all older now.

August - In August I got back from Nevada and quit my geology job. I then went on a trip to Southern California with my Grandpa. It was supposed to be a fun relaxing vacation to forget about the hell I experienced as a field geologist, but instead I ended up babysitting my grandpa, staying in a Super 8 motel and doing 1800 miles of driving myself. It was not a fun trip in any sense, but I will admit - compared to a trip with grungy geologists to the middle of nowhere basin and range, it was heaven. Before going back to school I went to Lagoon and it was a blast. I went back to school and the second night up there met some new friends. Trisha broke up with me because I'm not religious enough and so the next night a new girl stayed the night with me on my couch. It was innocent enough and quite cute. Classes started and they were all right.

September - The semester began becoming more difficult than I expected, but I was enjoying my social life too much. I spent nearly every evening with Marlee for about three weeks. I don't recall the last time I was able to do so much of nothing with someone and have fun. Her friends were cool, though very young. My roommate turned into an old man and would complain about the noise quite literally every night, it was annoying but somewhat understandable. My bed broke due to makeouts, I fixed it with a rock hammer and throughout the month discovered that there were very few problems unsolvable by a rock hammer. Anything from killing hobo spiders to burying tiki torches can be solved with a rock hammer. (Also useful for breaking rocks.) I got to know my new roommates Josh and Ryan and they are both awesome guys. Though they had a lot of crap in the front room for about two weeks and it annoyed me to no end. I figured they'd move it eventually, and they did.

October - In October I continued spending time with my roommates (both the new and old ones, I like them all) along with the female sophomore posse we'd become friends with. It was good times, probably some of the funnest I had all year. I went on the geomorphology trip with some of the geology department. It was really fun. I missed a football game that I'd have loved to have been at, but that's okay. The geology trip was more memorable, I'm sure. I also bought a new cell phone. This is an incredible feat for me as I can't buy something if the old something isn't broken. My old phone still works perfectly fine too. I started working harder on school as the semester was kicking my ass. I quit seeing my friends often, but continued get lunch with Marlee every other day.

November - During November I played a campus-wide, week-long, humans vs. zombies game that was pretty intense. It was a lot of fun with the exception of a neighbor of mine pretending it was reality. It was still a lot of fun though. I stayed in Logan all month, going to basketball games with friends and working on school. I began seeing my new friends almost never with the exception of the one I was dating, but we even stopped dating during this month. It was on good terms though and we remained friends. For Thanksgiving I came home and spent time with my family, it was good. We had dinner at my cousins house, pretty much everyone over 21 was drunk except myself and my 80 year old grandpa, but it was still a lot of fun.

December - December was an interesting month. My neighbor, that had been my friend in prior months, decided that she hated me because I was making motorcycle noises and slapped me so I told her off. Marlee and I decided we weren't talking for a couple weeks, but later made up and are cool now. Finals came and went. They messed up my sleep pattern and for about two weeks I couldn't sleep in past 5 am. My grades were acceptable, but nothing to brag about. Another friend pissed me off pretty badly and I've yet to really discuss it with her and at this point don't know that I ever will. I got an xbox 360 for Christmas, which is great since I've not had a new video game system in over 10 years. I've been in love with Final Fantasy 13 since then. Senioritis hit me like a Nolan Ryan pitch to the face. I had been becoming sick of school for a while, but honestly during this break, I've had little to any desire to return to Logan. I've spent some time with my high school friends, and while I've had a lot of fun, realized that I'm just so different from all of them now. I love them though, they're great people. This brings me to now. December 29th, a few minutes until midnight.

Best memory of the year : Getting my Spring '10 grades and feeling an incredible sense of accomplishment.
Worst memory of the year : Wandering the wilderness for 12 hour days with nothing but a compass, hammer, GPS and water.
Best month of the year : July
Worst month of the year : December
Biggest regret of the year : The decision to spend my last week of the summer on the vacation from hell.
Most unexpected event of the year : Probably the first time I kissed Katie way back early in the year. I didn't even expect me to do it until after I did.
Best movie of the year : Book of Eli
Best song of the year : Papa Roach - Burn
Best make-out of the year : This... will remain a secret this year too...
Best new t-shirt of the year : The one that scientifically proves "Aggie basketball is the best!"

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas is cool

So it's Christmas tomorrow. That's cool, we celebrate the birth of our savior and open presents. What a fantastic holiday. Why do we celebrate it though? That seems like a stupid question since I just answered it, but it's interesting really. Was Jesus really born on December 25th? Well the short answer is that no one alive really knows. The bible would seem to suggest otherwise though. In Luke the shepherds watch their flocks at night, which only happens during "lambing" (when sheep give birth to new sheep and shepherds watch their flocks day and night) which occurs during the spring. Because evolutionarily speaking sheep who give birth in the spring when the lambs can be concealed by tall grass are more likely to live. So if the only evidence to the time of Christs birth points to March-May, why do we celebrate it in December?

Because otherwise December would suck. Seriously, that is the real reason. I mean really, finals, snow, short days, long nights. Face it, minus Christmas, December sucks and the Catholic church knew this. No I'm kidding. That's not really why, but I think I have a good point anyway.

Solis Invictus (or the birth of the unconquered sun) was celebrated Pre-Christianity by pagans during the last few days of December on the modern calander. This is because the sun reaches its winter solstice and is "reborn" moving farther north in the sky (bringing heat and light, yay!). Since civilization mostly developed in the northern hemisphere, the sun is considered as being "reborn" at this time instead of "dying" which is how it would appear in Namibia, but Namibia has more Zebras than people, so they don't get to make the rules.

I guess the Catholics held a conference sometime in the 200's to decide on Christ's date of birth and went with late December because of a Latin paper written around this time which decided God created the sun at this time of year (they weren't the best physicists back then since... physics... didn't exactly exist yet.) and logically, to them at least, if God created the sun in late December, God would have sent Christ at the same time. This also coincided with the current celebrations of Solis Invictus and the birth of some Iranian .. something .. that the Roman soldiers liked which were both on December 25th. So back then, it was more like, Why NOT celebrate it on December 25th? Even if the day seems ambiguous now, it made sense then, and it stuck. Then in year 336, which is also the first three digits of my phone number, Constantine declared Christianity the favored religion and Christmas took off, along with the success of retail chains everywhere.

So why presents? Well when Christ was born three "wise men" (which really aren't described in much more detail than being wise and men) brought him some cool gifts. This is logically why we give gifts on Christmas. Though I think most people typically receive more than 3 gifts for Christmas. Maybe we go a little overboard on this presents thing. I'm sure we have those ungodly retail chains to thank for this. You know, with them shoving down our throats the idea that the only way to show love for our friends and family is to buy them tons of stuff, the more expensive the better! Don't get me wrong, I fall victim to this practice too.

Anyway, who were these wise men? Many biblical scholars today believe the wise men were actually Magi, which are Zoroastrian priests whose responsibility was to read and manipulate stars, basically an astrologer. Zoroastrianism is an old Persian religion that I really know nothing about to be perfectly honest, beyond the fact that it's monotheistic and has a standard good vs. evil belief. To me it sounds much like modern Western religions, but probably very different in ways I don't understand.

So that's cool, the wise men were religious people and they came and gifted Christ cool stuff because they believed he was an angel. Then Christ lived an amazing life and saved us all so we love him and want to respect him by having a holiday commemorating his birth. It's kinda cool really.

When I was little my grandma and I used to make Jesus a birthday cake every year. Okay so it was probably just my grandma making the cake with me standing on a chair (I was really short) watching her, but it was my idea okay? :)

So it's pretty much celebrated for all the reasons we grow up celebrating Christmas, Christ's birth and wise men giving him presents, and I like that. We just happened to get the date wrong and the description of the wise men wrong, but honestly I'm okay with that too. I like having Christmas in December. Like I said before, December would be an incredibly dreary month without it. Then the wise men, I think I prefer my idea of these guys being camel riding kingly scholars with money and gold crowns more than the likely more accurate description of them as wandering priests who study the stars. However I do really like astronomy and astrology was kind of like the astronomy of year 0 since calculators couldn't exactly do trig and calculus (which wouldn't even exist for another 1700 years) back then.

I like Christmas because it's a religious holiday that nearly everyone appreciates. Even most non-religious people are happy to celebrate a season of giving during December. Sure you have the occasional bone head who gets offended at being wished Merry Christmas, but they'll probably get kicked in the spirit-face by a spirit-camel owned by a Zoroastrian astrologers in the after life, and that's a fun thought.

Merry Christmas friends.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

What I learned this semester.

So I should be studying for my Geophysics final that I have in 3 hours, but I really just don't care. I'm so burnt out of school, this has been a really long and hard semester. I have two classes done Sedimentation/Stratigraphy and Geomorphology, I feel like I made good effort in both of them and will probably get good grades. The last two finals I have are in Global Geophysics (not to be confused with the ungodly Applied Geophysics that I somehow magically got an A in last semester) and Geoarchaeology. These are today and tomorrow, respectively.

I felt like I'd write and get my mind off of plate driving forces and refraction angles for a minute.

So I guess I pissed a lot of people off with my previous blog, sorry. I guess I really shouldn't be so blunt with my thoughts, at least not in a public blog, that's what journals are for. I always justify this by saying, it's not like you're required to read it, but apparently I have these things called friends and they read it because they like me or.. because they're really bored or maybe because I actually write decently. I don't know, I've not asked. Anyway, if I made fun of you or you feel like I made fun of you, and aren't married to a frat boy, I apologize. If you're married to a frat boy.. eh.. there are far worse things in your life. I just request that you try to see things from my point of view on the subject. It can be a bit frustrating at times. I know just about anyone, not part of the majority USU demograph, who read it and said something to me about it, said something to the effect of, "I liked your blog, I feel the exact same way - it's ballsy of you to write something like that." Regardless of it being ballsy or not, it's probably not very kind to some of my best friends. I also apologize that it kind of got misinterpreted into an anti-Mormon blog post. That wasn't my intention at all.

Hmm, what have I learned this semester? Well boring stuff like how to interpret stratigraphic sequences, how to identify landforms and what they mean, why the mammoths all died and how to make heads or tails out of geophysics, but I don't want to go into that. No one wants to read about what I learn in geology classes, not even me... well maybe the occasional stupid kid who sits by me in lab because they don't get it would. Fortunately all of my lab partners this semester were just as smart, if not smarter, than me. So I learned that I'm finally getting old, well maybe old is the wrong term, but I'm finally acting like an adult (sometimes). Take the previous paragraph for an example, when have I ever apologized for offending someone? Psh, my previous take on life was if I offended you, you're pathetic. That's not true though, people have feelings. I also learned that I like to accomplish my responsibilities. In prior semesters if I'd been assigned something I didn't understand or didn't feel was fair, I'd just not do it. Yesterday I did an assignment that I felt was both unnecessary and assigned way too late in the semester to be fair. It's only worth about 5% of my grade in a class where I believe the professor will simply assign grades based on her feelings more than pure stats, but I did it anyway. Did I learn much from it? Nah, but I got it done.

I learned that Lost is an amazing show. I never watched it when it was on TV because it looked dumb, I watched most of the 3rd season with some neighbors, but only did it because they were always up at 2am watching Lost. When I actually followed the whole first season though I was like "Whoaaaa... this show rules." I learned that I like pistachios. I never tried them because they were green, but they're good. I learned that anyone can become whipped... except me of course ;) I'm far too much of a bad ass for that. Haha, it'll probably happen someday - but when it does it'll be mutual. She WILL like college basketball and sci-fi, or at least put up with it like a good sport.

I went on a geomorphology camping trip instead of watching Utah State beat BYU in football and I regretted it at first, but now I realize there are more important things than sports. I made some really good friends on that trip. It's important to be tight with the people in your department. I learned that I really like my department. I know nearly every one of the undergrads on a first-name basis now and I like just about every single one of them. I'm going to miss them after next semester.

I learned just how quickly you can make and lose really close friends. I learned that I really really really don't like one-night flings anymore. Though maybe if it were Michelle Trachtenberg I'd be okay with it still. Yeah, definitely would be okay with it. I learned how to use Adobe Illustrator over the course of two very very very long nights.. wait.. no, that's academic related, scratch that. I learned just how stubborn I am when it comes to shopping at Walmart. With all the times I tagged along with friends or roommates to that evil place, I couldn't have spent more than $20 there all semester. I learned that I love teaching people. I spent way more time than necessary to help people learn freshmen geology simply because the other UTF was never around, but honestly I didn't mind. He did the one thing I didn't want to do more than anything else this semester, make a huge nasty excel file, yuck.

I learned just how much I hate pork. Just a couple nights ago I ate some pork ribs, they were fantastic tasting - but I've honestly been kind of mad at myself for it since then. Like seriously? Almost three years without eating pigs and I gave in with like the most minimal pressure ever simply because my roommate barbecued the most delicious smelling ribs ever? Lame. Hell, I even worked at Chili's for part of that pork-free time. I learned how good of a diet I can make myself have when I try. I can't remember any time in my life when I've eaten so many fruits and vegetables. I sleep like 5 hours a night now and feel fine all day because of it. (Though I do sneak in the occasional nap when I get bored.) Here's a big surprise, but I'm going to say it anyway.. Aggie basketball games just aren't fun anymore when it's a blow out. I think I've become desensitized to it by all the 30+ point wins year after year. The funnest games I've been to all year were Weber State (because we were down by 11 and came back to win by 10) and Northeastern (because it was back and forth the whole game) The huge wins over the U of U and Long Beach... really not that great beyond the just "going out and doing something with my friends" aspect.

I can't go to grad school next fall. This isn't to say I will never go to grad school, but I'm burnt out man. If you couldn't see this by the fact that I'm writing in my blog instead of studying for one of the hardest finals I'm ever going to take, I'm telling you now. I just want to finish my bachelors degree and move. I don't even care where I move or what I do for work (though hopefully it's related to geology and pays 40-50k a year to start, haha) I do want a Masters degree eventually, but if I were to start in 2011, I wouldn't finish it. Maybe we'll shoot for 2012? Hell by then it won't matter, because the worlds ending anyway, right? Wrong, dumbass :)

I guess I should study now. The end.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Utah State, Hey! Hypocrisy all the way!

Go Aggies, Go Aggies, Hey! Hey! Hey!

Okay that's an incredibly cheesy title, but it gets my point across. Utah State is full of hypocrites. No, this isn't a catch all as there are plenty of people who are not hypocrites, but man - so many students here are. This blog is going to sound like it's ripping on females, but it goes both ways and trust me, I know this. Unfortunately the examples I have are all based on females as I'm a guy and that's what I date.

So I was chatting with Ryan last night about girls here and like, I've known this for years, but it sort of hit me like a brick wall. My university is the most hypocritical university not named BYU in the country. Speaking of BYU, let's start there. Utah State students love to make fun of BYU. LDS and non-LDS alike. I feel there is nothing wrong with non-LDS students or even regular laid back LDS students making fun of BYU as making fun of BYU is both fun and incredibly easy. However, the super molly mormon girls and boys of this wonderful community do the exact same thing. I have a problem with this as they are basically just BYU students who moved to Logan to have a sliver of normality to their college years.

Despite what the self-appointed God's children in Provo like to claim about Utah State being a safety school for BYU, BYU is NOT a hard school to get into and I know more than one person who turned down a full-ride scholarship to the Y to come here simply because they liked the atmosphere better and the program they were interested in wasn't business or multi-level marketing.

Anyway, now that that is out of the way - there's a joke, "What did the BYU coed do when her boyfriend put in an R-rated movie? She put her bra and panties back on and left in disgust." Wanna hear a funny story... so a few weeks ago this girl didn't want to watch Saving Private Ryan with our friends, so instead we went to my room and ... "stuff." Fail. Basically the joke applies to Utah State girls too. Of course after a couple months of indulging themselves in the normal ways of life they always feel bad and have to end the normal healthy relationship they've been having with you. Some of them even go the BYU rape route. (BYU Rape is when you consensually fool around with someone in a sexual manner but then pretend after the fact that you didn't want it because you don't want people knowing that you're human and have urges just like everyone else that you occasionally give into. Instead, since you are such a dirt-bag, you think it is better to lie about the whole scenario and try to place all the blame on your partner.)

I love how it's just perfectly okay to pick and choose which doctrines of your religion you want to follow. Mormonism really reflects Catholicism in some respects. In fact I've been trying to do this for the past 8 years of my life. It started when I was 16 and I decided that I didn't need to go to church to be LDS, then around 18 I decided a good LDS kid could mess around with girls and drink now and then, in my 20's I changed and stopped those habits (mostly) but throughout this time no one really considered me a good LDS kid. Even today I go to church semi-actively (maybe not so much the past monthish), I do a pretty good job of avoiding alcohol for a university student and read my Joe Smith literature. I've even avoided excessive amounts of sexuality since basically my west-coast fling. However, because I'm open about my life and don't really hide it none of my friends consider my a good Mormon when many of them read their scriptures less, do just as much with the opposite gender and have tried alcohol themselves. Why do I not understand how being open about it to everyone makes you "less-mormon" than hiding it.

Once about two years ago I dated this girl named ... let's call her Shorty. She was really easy. The second time we made out we had our hands down each others pants and the remainder of our relationship was about like this. Shorty was not a virgin and was quite proud of this fact. On multiple occasions she would try to get me to sleep with her. While it was tempting and she was certainly cute she had cold sores and I'm not taking any chances when it comes to herpes. Seriously, that's like the number one reason I never slept with her, herpes scares the crap out of me. Well, that and despite being really cute, her body looked like she'd never worked out in her life. Anyway, Shorty and I broke up - her citing that she needed a "Good boy, like Greg." Greg was my 25 year old (at the time) roommate who was an RM and married the first girl he ever kissed. What.. the.. fuck..?

Two months later she was dating a frat bro. Seriously, this is the crap kind of element one has to choose from to date up here.

You know, I just went back in my blog and edited out "what the fuck," but then I realized the purpose of this blog is to complain about that kind of attitude, so I put it back. I am sick of people being offended by the occasional appropriately placed curse word. Grow up. Guess what, life is rated R. If you can't deal with it, take the easy way out - move to Provo. It really is absolutely ridiculous though that people will get offended at a word. Now at the expense of possibly adding excessive profanity to my blog post (If you're easily offended, skip ahead to where it says "end profanity" and if you're not - you've been warned.) take this for example. If I tell the average Utah State student, "Yeah, that's fun to do while sexing." They will laugh at my use of the word "sexing." However if I were to say "Yeah, that's fun to do while fucking." They will gasp in offense. Where is the difference? I said the exact same thing. The only difference is that USU culture tells you the word fuck is offensive and you know that you have to react how USU culture expects or you won't be accepted by your friends who do act within the USU paradigm. You have no real reason to be bothered by the word. God isn't bothered by the word. You just had someone you respected at some point in your life tell you that fuck is an inappropriate word and that you shouldn't ever use it. Guess what - if you're in a job interview you probably should not say, "Fuck yeah I'm interested in working for you." because you will sound like a moron. In fact in most conversations there really is no real reason to use the word fuck, but every now and then, the most appropriate word to use is fuck, and you should fucking say it.

//end profanity//

I had a friend tell me the other day, "My bishop always says, 'What is more important right now than marriage?'." (Holy punctuation chain.) Uh... seriously? You're going to ask the top quarter in intelligence of the 18-25 year old demographic what is more important than marriage? *dramatic inhale for effect* How about growing up, learning to live life on your own, becoming self-sufficient from your parents, having a job, keeping a job, doing well in school, staying committed to school semester after semester, finding out what you want to do when you grow up, taking the classes you need to achieve that goal, staying out of debt, eating healthy, staying in shape, creating lasting friendships, creating a professional network and staying away from drugs? Though.. I mean.. I suppose compared to marriage those are all pretty much pointless.. if you're an idiot. Oh wait, no I already pointed out that these are for the most part all incredibly intelligent individuals, hence why they are in a student ward in a town which is home to a top tier national public land grant university.

What is more important than marriage? Sir, you are a dumbass.

You're probably wondering how this all ties into my rant against hypocrisy. Well, have you seen that "Provo, Utah girls" spoof on the Katy Perry song? Yeahhhh... again with the Utah State students acting exactly like BYU students. Hey ladies, if I wanted to date a marriage hungry fiend I'd have lied my way into BYU. Now don't get me wrong, not all Utah State girls are hypocrites - in fact one I've been crushing on the past couple weeks seems quite the opposite of this despite being from Utah Valley hell - just a large enough majority are that it's quite bothersome.

I could go on about stories of hypocrites I've dated, but I'd like to at least stay on speaking terms with some of my ex's and not use examples from their personal lives - so I'll just stick to my example of Shorty who, by the way, ended up marrying the frat bro (dead serious.)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Dear Neighbor

Dear Neighbor,

I told you off tonight and then later apologized, to which you rudely ignored, but it's okay because I was simply trying not to make an enemy with someone I'll likely run into hundreds of time over the remainder of this God-forsaken school year anyway.

I would love nothing more than to tell you off again in a more thought out and considered fashion rather than just pissing you off and telling you to gtfo because I'm irate that you marched into my apartment and slapped me. Just because you are a girl and I am a guy does not give you permission to insult me with a slap for no reason beyond the fact that you are annoyed at my obnoxious motorcycle sounds. However, I'm not going to stoop down to your level. Instead I'm going to hover half a step above it and complain about you in my blog like a 16 year old rather than the 14 year old that you are.

You are a brat. You are probably the brattiest post-middle-school girl who I have ever met. No, I am not exaggerating out of annoyance. What is your problem? How can you possibly be a Sophomore in college and think that it is even remotely okay to come downstairs and pound on my door, while yelling, for 30 seconds until you are let in and then come in and loudly express annoyance at us despite the fact that we are purposely making motorcycle noises to drown out anything you possibly could have to say? Then don't let it stop here, you should probably get in my face and yell at me for your broken window, which I have not had any part in at any point, at all, period. In fact each time your window was touched I was not even outside. I suppose maybe sitting in my chair reading a pdf on blackboard was probably enough to set you off since you have about a 6 millimeter fuse.

Okay I'll admit flipping you off probably wasn't the most appropriate thing I could have done, but there are far worse things that can be done than flipping off someone who is in your face, screaming at you, for something you have nothing to do with. Yet you have to let your rage and complete lack of an ability to control your teenage emotions take over and then physically slap me. Are you serious?

So let's overview this - your window was accidentally broken by my roommate that you threw cupcakes on. I happen to be the ex-roommate of someone who threw a snowball into your broken window tonight and you come slap me? Where is the logic in this? Oh nevermind, there is none. Do I apologize for calling you a bitch? Yes. I quite love dogs, it is incredibly rude to compare a thoughtful and loving creature to one who is rude, immature and acts like the world owes her something. Though in some ways it is appropriate. Sometimes a dog will bite a random person who is doing no harm to the dog because it is annoyed at external circumstances. This is exactly what you did tonight.

Do I apologize for calling you a slut? Sure. You've been making out with multiple people all semester while displaying this image that you are innocent and follow a religion which doesn't approve of this kind of activity. However, it is college and I have been doing the same thing, so I have no room to call you this. I take back my hypocrisy in calling you a slut. You are more of just an unpleasant person rather than a slut though a slut is someone who I could see attacking someone for no particular reason other than pure annoyance.

I do sincerely apologize if I offended you. That is not very appropriate of me to simply vent harsh names at you, however momentarily true they may be, simply because you pumped up my adrenaline by hitting me. I should have simply considered the source.

I still stand by the fact that you are a complete brat. Whenever you are mentioned expressions of dislike and annoyance are displayed by most around. Yes, your friends included. You act like you are special and that people should treat you differently. You pretend that you aren't a completely unpleasant person when you in fact are. You are perpetually pissed off and that isn't exactly something anyone appreciates being around. Learn to accept that, despite the fact that you're an unemployed 19 year old who drives an Infiniti, you're not special and please try to coexist with others around you accepting that we are all on the same equal level.

In closing, slapping people for making motorcycle noises in their own apartment which you were not even invited into is not appropriate. It is in fact quite childish and also a misdemeanor. Yes, I realize this letter which you will never read is childish as well, but it pissed me off and I need to vent. I hope you enjoy telling your friends (and mine as well) how much of an ass I am for calling you a bitch and a slut without mentioning that you completely brought it onto yourself by involving me in something which I never had anything to do with by striking and insulting me.

Sincerely,
Brandon

PS. The world is 4.6 billion years old, humans evolved from other bipeds and there is no physical way in which the entire globe can be flooded by water because there simply is not enough. Please, take a science class.