Saturday, December 11, 2010

Utah State, Hey! Hypocrisy all the way!

Go Aggies, Go Aggies, Hey! Hey! Hey!

Okay that's an incredibly cheesy title, but it gets my point across. Utah State is full of hypocrites. No, this isn't a catch all as there are plenty of people who are not hypocrites, but man - so many students here are. This blog is going to sound like it's ripping on females, but it goes both ways and trust me, I know this. Unfortunately the examples I have are all based on females as I'm a guy and that's what I date.

So I was chatting with Ryan last night about girls here and like, I've known this for years, but it sort of hit me like a brick wall. My university is the most hypocritical university not named BYU in the country. Speaking of BYU, let's start there. Utah State students love to make fun of BYU. LDS and non-LDS alike. I feel there is nothing wrong with non-LDS students or even regular laid back LDS students making fun of BYU as making fun of BYU is both fun and incredibly easy. However, the super molly mormon girls and boys of this wonderful community do the exact same thing. I have a problem with this as they are basically just BYU students who moved to Logan to have a sliver of normality to their college years.

Despite what the self-appointed God's children in Provo like to claim about Utah State being a safety school for BYU, BYU is NOT a hard school to get into and I know more than one person who turned down a full-ride scholarship to the Y to come here simply because they liked the atmosphere better and the program they were interested in wasn't business or multi-level marketing.

Anyway, now that that is out of the way - there's a joke, "What did the BYU coed do when her boyfriend put in an R-rated movie? She put her bra and panties back on and left in disgust." Wanna hear a funny story... so a few weeks ago this girl didn't want to watch Saving Private Ryan with our friends, so instead we went to my room and ... "stuff." Fail. Basically the joke applies to Utah State girls too. Of course after a couple months of indulging themselves in the normal ways of life they always feel bad and have to end the normal healthy relationship they've been having with you. Some of them even go the BYU rape route. (BYU Rape is when you consensually fool around with someone in a sexual manner but then pretend after the fact that you didn't want it because you don't want people knowing that you're human and have urges just like everyone else that you occasionally give into. Instead, since you are such a dirt-bag, you think it is better to lie about the whole scenario and try to place all the blame on your partner.)

I love how it's just perfectly okay to pick and choose which doctrines of your religion you want to follow. Mormonism really reflects Catholicism in some respects. In fact I've been trying to do this for the past 8 years of my life. It started when I was 16 and I decided that I didn't need to go to church to be LDS, then around 18 I decided a good LDS kid could mess around with girls and drink now and then, in my 20's I changed and stopped those habits (mostly) but throughout this time no one really considered me a good LDS kid. Even today I go to church semi-actively (maybe not so much the past monthish), I do a pretty good job of avoiding alcohol for a university student and read my Joe Smith literature. I've even avoided excessive amounts of sexuality since basically my west-coast fling. However, because I'm open about my life and don't really hide it none of my friends consider my a good Mormon when many of them read their scriptures less, do just as much with the opposite gender and have tried alcohol themselves. Why do I not understand how being open about it to everyone makes you "less-mormon" than hiding it.

Once about two years ago I dated this girl named ... let's call her Shorty. She was really easy. The second time we made out we had our hands down each others pants and the remainder of our relationship was about like this. Shorty was not a virgin and was quite proud of this fact. On multiple occasions she would try to get me to sleep with her. While it was tempting and she was certainly cute she had cold sores and I'm not taking any chances when it comes to herpes. Seriously, that's like the number one reason I never slept with her, herpes scares the crap out of me. Well, that and despite being really cute, her body looked like she'd never worked out in her life. Anyway, Shorty and I broke up - her citing that she needed a "Good boy, like Greg." Greg was my 25 year old (at the time) roommate who was an RM and married the first girl he ever kissed. What.. the.. fuck..?

Two months later she was dating a frat bro. Seriously, this is the crap kind of element one has to choose from to date up here.

You know, I just went back in my blog and edited out "what the fuck," but then I realized the purpose of this blog is to complain about that kind of attitude, so I put it back. I am sick of people being offended by the occasional appropriately placed curse word. Grow up. Guess what, life is rated R. If you can't deal with it, take the easy way out - move to Provo. It really is absolutely ridiculous though that people will get offended at a word. Now at the expense of possibly adding excessive profanity to my blog post (If you're easily offended, skip ahead to where it says "end profanity" and if you're not - you've been warned.) take this for example. If I tell the average Utah State student, "Yeah, that's fun to do while sexing." They will laugh at my use of the word "sexing." However if I were to say "Yeah, that's fun to do while fucking." They will gasp in offense. Where is the difference? I said the exact same thing. The only difference is that USU culture tells you the word fuck is offensive and you know that you have to react how USU culture expects or you won't be accepted by your friends who do act within the USU paradigm. You have no real reason to be bothered by the word. God isn't bothered by the word. You just had someone you respected at some point in your life tell you that fuck is an inappropriate word and that you shouldn't ever use it. Guess what - if you're in a job interview you probably should not say, "Fuck yeah I'm interested in working for you." because you will sound like a moron. In fact in most conversations there really is no real reason to use the word fuck, but every now and then, the most appropriate word to use is fuck, and you should fucking say it.

//end profanity//

I had a friend tell me the other day, "My bishop always says, 'What is more important right now than marriage?'." (Holy punctuation chain.) Uh... seriously? You're going to ask the top quarter in intelligence of the 18-25 year old demographic what is more important than marriage? *dramatic inhale for effect* How about growing up, learning to live life on your own, becoming self-sufficient from your parents, having a job, keeping a job, doing well in school, staying committed to school semester after semester, finding out what you want to do when you grow up, taking the classes you need to achieve that goal, staying out of debt, eating healthy, staying in shape, creating lasting friendships, creating a professional network and staying away from drugs? Though.. I mean.. I suppose compared to marriage those are all pretty much pointless.. if you're an idiot. Oh wait, no I already pointed out that these are for the most part all incredibly intelligent individuals, hence why they are in a student ward in a town which is home to a top tier national public land grant university.

What is more important than marriage? Sir, you are a dumbass.

You're probably wondering how this all ties into my rant against hypocrisy. Well, have you seen that "Provo, Utah girls" spoof on the Katy Perry song? Yeahhhh... again with the Utah State students acting exactly like BYU students. Hey ladies, if I wanted to date a marriage hungry fiend I'd have lied my way into BYU. Now don't get me wrong, not all Utah State girls are hypocrites - in fact one I've been crushing on the past couple weeks seems quite the opposite of this despite being from Utah Valley hell - just a large enough majority are that it's quite bothersome.

I could go on about stories of hypocrites I've dated, but I'd like to at least stay on speaking terms with some of my ex's and not use examples from their personal lives - so I'll just stick to my example of Shorty who, by the way, ended up marrying the frat bro (dead serious.)


  1. Brandon, I totally don't know you very well I just though you were funny and decided to read your blog. But...I'm annoyed.
    Don't you think that being "semi-active" in the church is pretty hypocritical. Mormonism has rules. I don't think you should follow those rules just because your parents told you too. I don't think anyone should care about R rated movies, per se, but the sex stuff? I think you should believe in those rules if you call yourself Mormon.
    I'm not Mormon. I was raised in Utah. It was hard sometimes (ie. getting made fun of in 5th grade because my parents drink coffee, not that they do herion--they drink coffee). I completely understand being frustrated with hypocrisy and people not understanding their own religions. But isn't "half-assing" a religion hypocritical too, even if you're open about it?

    PS-Don't mean to be inyourface, just thought I'd tell you what I thought.

  2. I think you missed the point.

    You're absolutely right.. and the relation I made between those two was about someone who didn't want to watch an R rated movie, but instead wanted to come into my room and mess around.. I honestly couldn't care less about either as I don't feel either are mortal sins.

    I won't go "all the way," but I see nothing wrong with fooling around and I don't lie about it, so no, I'm not a hypocrite. I realize that from the POV of the LDS church I am not a perfect Mormon and that's fine. I won't claim to be a fully active Mormon, but I'm a good person and feel the religion has many good teachings. This was mainly about people acting or treating me differently because I'm not that stereotypical Mormon guy when .. they do the exact same things. It's stupid.

  3. Well, I think being a good person is the whole point.
    I'm just sick of convenient Mormonism. As in, I'm dating Guy A today, so I'm going to the temple. Now I'm dating Guy B--let's get wasted! I think that's what your talking about.
    I think I just "rammed" you because "semi-active" Mormon is one of my peeves.

    Good luck with finals.

  4. That.. was kind of the point I wanted to make.. Many people I meet lack consistency in their actions. It's bothersome and super confusing. I understand that being semi-active may sound inconsistent, but really it just comes down to me not knowing what I believe when it comes to religion (which is a whole different topic I don't wish to discuss with someone I barely know, no offense, haha.)

    I don't claim to be a "good" Mormon, because I know I'm not. I just dislike that so many people who claim that they are, are no different from me. They just put on a show that they are. It's stupid.

    Thanks for wishing me luck on my finals, I think they all went pretty well! :) Happy holiday season.