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Saturday, December 4, 2010

Dear Neighbor

Dear Neighbor,

I told you off tonight and then later apologized, to which you rudely ignored, but it's okay because I was simply trying not to make an enemy with someone I'll likely run into hundreds of time over the remainder of this God-forsaken school year anyway.

I would love nothing more than to tell you off again in a more thought out and considered fashion rather than just pissing you off and telling you to gtfo because I'm irate that you marched into my apartment and slapped me. Just because you are a girl and I am a guy does not give you permission to insult me with a slap for no reason beyond the fact that you are annoyed at my obnoxious motorcycle sounds. However, I'm not going to stoop down to your level. Instead I'm going to hover half a step above it and complain about you in my blog like a 16 year old rather than the 14 year old that you are.

You are a brat. You are probably the brattiest post-middle-school girl who I have ever met. No, I am not exaggerating out of annoyance. What is your problem? How can you possibly be a Sophomore in college and think that it is even remotely okay to come downstairs and pound on my door, while yelling, for 30 seconds until you are let in and then come in and loudly express annoyance at us despite the fact that we are purposely making motorcycle noises to drown out anything you possibly could have to say? Then don't let it stop here, you should probably get in my face and yell at me for your broken window, which I have not had any part in at any point, at all, period. In fact each time your window was touched I was not even outside. I suppose maybe sitting in my chair reading a pdf on blackboard was probably enough to set you off since you have about a 6 millimeter fuse.

Okay I'll admit flipping you off probably wasn't the most appropriate thing I could have done, but there are far worse things that can be done than flipping off someone who is in your face, screaming at you, for something you have nothing to do with. Yet you have to let your rage and complete lack of an ability to control your teenage emotions take over and then physically slap me. Are you serious?

So let's overview this - your window was accidentally broken by my roommate that you threw cupcakes on. I happen to be the ex-roommate of someone who threw a snowball into your broken window tonight and you come slap me? Where is the logic in this? Oh nevermind, there is none. Do I apologize for calling you a bitch? Yes. I quite love dogs, it is incredibly rude to compare a thoughtful and loving creature to one who is rude, immature and acts like the world owes her something. Though in some ways it is appropriate. Sometimes a dog will bite a random person who is doing no harm to the dog because it is annoyed at external circumstances. This is exactly what you did tonight.

Do I apologize for calling you a slut? Sure. You've been making out with multiple people all semester while displaying this image that you are innocent and follow a religion which doesn't approve of this kind of activity. However, it is college and I have been doing the same thing, so I have no room to call you this. I take back my hypocrisy in calling you a slut. You are more of just an unpleasant person rather than a slut though a slut is someone who I could see attacking someone for no particular reason other than pure annoyance.

I do sincerely apologize if I offended you. That is not very appropriate of me to simply vent harsh names at you, however momentarily true they may be, simply because you pumped up my adrenaline by hitting me. I should have simply considered the source.

I still stand by the fact that you are a complete brat. Whenever you are mentioned expressions of dislike and annoyance are displayed by most around. Yes, your friends included. You act like you are special and that people should treat you differently. You pretend that you aren't a completely unpleasant person when you in fact are. You are perpetually pissed off and that isn't exactly something anyone appreciates being around. Learn to accept that, despite the fact that you're an unemployed 19 year old who drives an Infiniti, you're not special and please try to coexist with others around you accepting that we are all on the same equal level.

In closing, slapping people for making motorcycle noises in their own apartment which you were not even invited into is not appropriate. It is in fact quite childish and also a misdemeanor. Yes, I realize this letter which you will never read is childish as well, but it pissed me off and I need to vent. I hope you enjoy telling your friends (and mine as well) how much of an ass I am for calling you a bitch and a slut without mentioning that you completely brought it onto yourself by involving me in something which I never had anything to do with by striking and insulting me.

Sincerely,
Brandon

PS. The world is 4.6 billion years old, humans evolved from other bipeds and there is no physical way in which the entire globe can be flooded by water because there simply is not enough. Please, take a science class.

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