Summer is almost over

*sigh* one month later. So much for being active at updating my blog. My fish sure were hungry. I hope someone had been active at feeding them in my absence. They were still alive though, so that's a good sign. (The fish up a little higher on the page if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

This summer, so far, has not exactly been my idea of a restful relaxing vacation. I've had three jobs, none of which are/were exactly exciting. I started out as a census salesman. I would go door to door an do census questionnaire forms for retards who are too good to simply send the form in that comes in the mail. Then that kind of ended a lot faster than I had anticipated so I was forced to find another job. I got a job waiting tables at a pizza place called NYPD. The pizza was all right, the people were pretty cool, but the job itself made me feel like a huge underachiever. I'm 24, shouldn't I be past the whole working at a pizza place thing? In the entire restaurant there were about 5 people older than me. Then I got a job as an exploration geologist tech where I kind of just do labor for a geologic company rather than actually doing any geology itself. I hammer posts into the ground and collect soil samples. Not test soil samples - no, just collect them. I'm hoping someday it'll look good on a resume though. Plus the pay is good. One thing I can say about this summer is that I've made a lot more money than I did last summer. Last year I was about $1000 more poor than I was at the start and this summer I'll end with about $4000 more than I started with, so that's pretty good, right?

Anyway, I'm going out to Wells (where?) Nevada to collect soil samples on Monday. I am hoping I don't die, though this is a possibility as this job honestly scares the hell out of me sometimes. Running into a rattlesnake and being hours from civilization (okay, maybe 20 minutes from Tooele) isn't exactly what I consider a safe workplace.

At least I've had more companionship this summer than I did last summer. Now having Skype dates and playing video games together is fun and all, but when it's 80% of what you have in the way of human contact for 3 months, it sucks. This summer has been fun. I've dated a whole lot more (real dates, not Skype dates) and even seen some of my old high school friends a few times. I've not been to Logan to see my friends there at all, though I have hung out with James a handful of times which is cool.

I've really become confused with life the past month or so though. This job I have really makes me consider if geology is something I'm interested in at all. The job sucks, period. <--- that is a period. I don't care the pay, it sucks and honestly rocks aren't that interesting to me. I was at a museum yesterday and they had quite the rock collection and like they were cool and all, but whatever. My day wouldn't have been any less complete had I not seen them. Trisha however went gaga over some old anthropological baskets and shoes. Why can't I feel passionate about something like that? I'll admit geology is more interesting than engineering was, but that isn't saying much. Tacos are more interesting than engineering was. I think the main advantage geology has is that I'm better at it.. or maybe it's easier. So what? I am going to finish my undergrad. That's definite. One more year? No way I'm changing. Then do I get a geology job or.. what? I'm 24 and I still haven't any idea what I want to do for a career because I can't seem to find anything that I say, "Yeah, I could do this for 30 years." about.

Another thing about my future that really really scares me is marriage. Do I want to get married young? All my friends have or are doing it. I'll be 25 and with the overflowing idiot 18 year old population of Logan, Utah I can pretty much guarantee that if I wanted to marry within the next 15 months I could. It would be nice to get married, and have kids before I'm 30. Or do I first want to actually establish this career of mine first and have make 50k or more a year while being single and buy the things I want to buy like a 370Z and a 55" TV while just kind of living on my own? If I can have a few nice things being single living off crap jobs having a real job while being single would kick so much ass I can't even tell you. Why can't I do both? :( I want two lives. Then I can live them both and whichever turns out better at the age of 35 I'll pick up on and follow from there. Sure I guess there's nothing wrong with marrying at say 32, but what if I lose someone in that time that I really loved and have to settle for someone else or what if I end up like my uncle Duane did and die single? Neither of those sound like very good outcomes. Though maybe I could get a great job at 25, marry at 28 to someone I really love and life would be grand. Though what are the chances of that? Psh. Nothing goes as planned, ever, right? Is that a chance worth taking when failure could potentially mean I end up alone, which, would be the most depressing thing ever regardless of how many sports cars I had.

*sigh* I guess blogging about it really doesn't help me solve the dilemma.