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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Your facebook status update is stupid.

I was just going through about a weeks worth of facebook updates from my friends and I came across something that I decided really annoys me. When people update me on the status of the menial achievements that their babies accomplish, or worse... when they write an entire blog about them posting pictures that their child is never going to look back on and think, "Wow mom, I'm so happy you took this pantsless picture of me in complete and utter confusion about the world."

Do new parents honestly think the average person cares at all that their baby rolled over? Do you think I care that your baby isn't having green turds anymore? Seriously, how boring is your life if you think that updating me on stuff that your pet human just learned to do, that most puppies can do at birth, is interesting? Or is this just all a contest amongst parents to show off what new tricks they taught their children to get a head start on properly competing with parents in your LDS ward about whose children are the most spiritual and baptized the most people on their spiritual crusades.. err.. missions?

Also what is the deal with texting facebook every stupid thing that you personally do yourself?
7:32 - Going to the park with friends!
7:41 - Playing on the swings
7:46 - Just went down the slide, I love my friends!
7:50 - Now we're getting ice cream
7:52 - Mikey moo'd at some cows out the window.
>>> Comment from Brandon - Please shut up, your life is boring. Quit pretending like you're enjoying yourself. Obviously you're not enjoying yourself or you wouldn't be texting facebook every 5 minutes or worse, playing on your smartphone. By the way, I hope you are texting while driving and get a ticket.

Other updates that are really stupid too are the overly-dramatic updates on ones love lives that you would not find strange from a junior high school student, but mind you probably a good 90% of my facebook friends are 18-26. "Oh he treats me so great I'm so happy I have such a wonderful boy." or "He's such a dick, why can't he just treat me right?" Better question, why do you think your 650 facebook friends (of which you know well, maybe 4) give a damn? Then the ever so appropriate messages from lovers to each other of, "I love you baby, you're always on my mind.. except when I had bed-shaking sex with the neighbor last week which is why I'm saying this publicly so no one doubts our pure love for only each other." Okay maybe I added that last part in, but really? This needs to be done over facebook public messaging? An "I love you" text message, phone call or email wouldn't cut it? That's cool and all, I understand that you're ugly and never got anyone all through high school, so now you're proud of your first ever relationship and want to announce it to the world, but consider your age next time.

Sigh, I really am a dick sometimes, I'm sorry. Maybe I'm simply unhappy with my life and the only way I can deal with how terribly she treats me and how verbally abused I am is by displacing my rage on others through my blog that no one reads. Nah, I'm full of crap. Life is great. You really do just annoy me. *glare*

PS. If you're from the Southwestern US and considering changing your major to geology, don't do it unless you like scorching hot deserts in July.

Hey, one more month until I move back to Logan! I'm excited, can't wait to be around cool roommates and sexy ladies again.

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