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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Unrelated thoughts.

I had an exciting and long blog outlined in my mind to write, but as I typed it and thought about it I realized that it wasn't important and is probably mostly thoughts best kept to myself. Instead I'm just going to type a whole bunch of unrelated things that are on my mind right now.

I've just noticed recently that some friends are quite amazing people and others are not. Sometimes you have friends that you can go to and talk to about anything regardless of how pointless it is or how much attention you've given them lately and they'll still listen. Other times you have friends that blow you off when you want to have a serious conversation with them because they're too wrapped up in their own lives to care about your bad day/week/month/senior year. I know we all have both and I know for some people I've probably fallen in the latter category. I just hope I've not done it for friends that view me as someone close to them. I'm very grateful for friends that fit the former category though. We all should have more of those. A few days ago I got carded buying a 17+ video game, Mass Effect 2. I have to admit I actually felt pretty good about that. Now I know I don't look 16, but it reassures to me that I still don't look 25! :) I had a decent time at the Spectrum tonight. It was the first time in a while I've not been bored at a game. We beat NMSU by 10. I've had this urge to drink the last couple nights. Not to get drunk, just to relax and take the edge off life. Unfortunately I have no one to drink with and drinking alone isn't really my thing unless I've had a terrible day, which I've not had in quite some time, I've just had a long succession of blah days. I fixed my friends computer that was infected with a virus and realized that I'm actually a lot better with computers than I give myself credit for. My ex emails and texts me a lot lately, I don't understand it. What does she want? Why do I respond? I spent the night with a good friend from Sophomore/Junior years and we've really not talked since then other than brief "how was your day" text messages. It's kind of strange. I feel like maybe I put forth more effort, but she seems fine with having not talked since then, so I guess I'm fine with it too. I put my car for sale on KSL, but when people would call or text me about it. I just couldn't sell it. I kept having to tell people that I was sorry, but changed my mind and wanted to keep it. I took the ad down. I really like my Tiburon, even if it's not a fancy new car anymore, I just like it. In two days it would be my Grandma's 77th birthday. Pretty sure I'm experiencing a mild form of depression the last month or two. I wish I could break out of it, oh well it'll be spring soon enough and I'll be fine I'm sure. No, I'm not sad, being sad isn't depression, I just haven't really been able to find anything that makes me happy for a short while. Sometimes I have a dream where I wake up and I'm about 12 years old, but I still have all the knowledge and experiences I have as a 24 year old. It's strange, sometimes I wish it was real. My old best friend made a dig at the fact that I'm turning 25 and I'm still single. It really pissed me off, far more than I think he realizes. I have basically zero intention of attending his wedding now since I already had plans for the week he's getting married anyway. It is during Spring break and the WAC Tournament. Vegas doesn't judge me for being 25 and single, in fact it promotes it. Hell, he's only been to Logan to visit me twice in the last three years anyway and zero times in the last two years. Ah, look at me try to justify the fact that I feel bad about not intending to go. I think I'm going to sleep now.

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