Valentine's Day and Relationships

I'll be honest, unless you're stalking me this blog post is not worth reading. It's just going to be me talking about my love life, or lack thereof, because I feel like with Valentine's Day being tomorrow it's appropriate for me to do that. Seriously though, if you're just going to go, "Brandon you're such a bitter ass hole, grow up" just hit the back button right now, because you don't deserve to read my wonderful writing.

A few days ago I was talking with some people in my petroleum systems class. They're all grad students and they're from Texas, New Jersey and Florida. I was asking what they felt about Utah and they were all just like "This place is so damn weird." The guy from Florida was saying that when he moved, he told his girlfriend he was headed back to school in Logan and she was welcome to come with and that he was happy she did because he'd tried talking to girls here and he said that had his girlfriend not moved with him he'd have simply had to avoid women for four years.

Now this dude is a pretty typical guy really. He's not a partier. He's not a drunk geologist. He's actually an incredibly smart PhD student who just happens to be from Not Utah. (I think I capitalize the N in not when I'm referring to the rest of the world as a place called Not Utah, right?) I mean, I of all people can understand his feelings, but it's not THAT bad here, I've had a fun relationship here and there. I have to be honest though - this statement makes me super excited to see what dating out of state is like. I already have one experience with it, and though it ended not-so-great, it was amazing. Again, if you're reading this and you're offended - I already told you not to, but if you've made it this far - the rest of the blog is nicer, so you may as well continue.

So over the past couple weeks I've run into a couple ex's of mine that I'd not seen in a while. People sure do change quickly sometimes. I'm not going to go into much detail on this as I don't feel it's appropriate, but sometimes it's nice to have a nice update to all that sadness you felt when you lost someone, and run into them years later only to think to yourself, "Wow, glad that ended." So to all 3 of you who are actually still reading this, if any of you are missing someone like crazy right now. I promise, if you run into them in a couple years, you're going to be like "Hmmph, why'd I ever care?" and it's such a nice feeling. Don't get me wrong, it's a little sad too, but the closure is nice.

Another ex told me to eff off, basically, and get out of her life. I wasn't quite aware that I was exactly in her life, but I'm pretty amazing and I think just my presence can be distracting for some ;) Seriously though, at the expense of sounding arrogant. I'm 99.4% sure she said this because she couldn't get over me with the option of talking to me still available. I have to admit, this really does make me feel good. I need that sometimes, haha. So thanks for telling me to eff off and get out of your life.... sort of....

So.. Valentines Day.. I wanted to get a date for this holiday, but I really didn't know who to ask. I'd narrowed it down to two girls. I was home Thursday night and they both facebook messaged me, I was like, "Cool, I can have a conversation with them both - see who I enjoy the conversation with more and call her tomorrow." Didn't work out that way. The first one was like "I can't sleep - I have a boy on my mind." I, being slightly narcissistic, automatically thought, "Hey, maybe it's me." Wrong. She went on to tell me about him and I was like, "Yep, not calling her tomorrow." The second one however seemed quite friendly. We talked about places we like to go and things we like to do and I'm not really sure how it happened, but suddenly we had plans for next weekend. This made me quite happy as she's quite the beautiful girl and I've always wanted to get to know her a little better, just never really made the effort to. I'm quite excited actually.

Unfortunately this leaves me with the conundrum of, I'm still free on Valentines Day. I suppose I could call the same girl, but two dates in one week? That seems forced. I don't want to scare her. I don't even know if I like her yet. There are other girls sure, but I've gotten to the point where I just don't want to date for the sake of dating anymore. I've dated so many people that I honestly couldn't name them all if I spent an hour trying. If I'm going to spend my time and money on someone, I want to be a little interested. I'm having such a hard time finding someone I'm a little interested in these days. It's my own fault. I just lump people into the "too religious" category way to hastily, which is rude, but it's not like a majority of them aren't doing the same to me when I say something like, "Hell yeah I like Mudkips!" Though I'm not sure why I'd be talking to a girl about Mudkips, or when they find out that the last time I went to all 3 meetings of church was... I don't know. Couple that with everyone being so dead-set on marriage up here that girls close to my age are mostly married and it really makes me feel justified in being a little bitter.

Sigh, I want to be in love. Yeah there I said it, screw you for still reading this. I love those glimpses of love I've had in various relationships where I feel like I can do, say or share anything with a girl and still be accepted. Where we just want to spend time together, rather than just one of us wanting to spend time with the other. Where neither of us judge each other for any beliefs or feelings we may hold differing from the other, but accept that differences kind of kick ass. When every damn time we hang out we get closer and we have more fun until she tells you that she's a lesbian or she tells you that you're too innocent for her. Okay, maybe those last two things are kind of subjective.

Eh, it'll happen someday right? I'm a pretty kick-ass guy. At least that's what I hear and really right now isn't the right time anyway. I've got some friends, some that I hardly know, and we've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world. (Oops, broke into song.) but I really do have a good time with my friends and it's my last semester as an undergraduate to do whatever the hell I want to do on my terms without ever consulting with anyone else. I've got the rest of my life to be an adult. I think for Valentine's Day I'm going to go buy myself some take-out food and a video game and have a night better than any of you going out on forced holiday based dates. Then when I get bored of playing video games I'm going to fall asleep in my bed without showering and no one will care if I smell like pizza. Happy Valentines Day to me.